As I drove through the same roads again, the familiarity of the town where I once grew up made its presence known to me. Vivid images formed in front of my eyes as I passed through the same places that I used to visit as a child after ten years. The city was same, the people were the same and even the marketplace where we used to hang around and played games sometimes was the same but what really changed was me. A big change had brought me back here, in search of the peace which I could find nowhere. I, Aliza Sameer, had returned to the city of my childhood dreams. This was a place where I grew up, where I had learnt to stand on my own two feet, a place where I gained my education and where I fell in love. A bad taste covered my mouth whenever I thought of the old memories and my reasons for leaving this town were both interconnected and today my coming back was a huge mistake. But I was an epitome of mistakes and self-destruction, I knew.

12I was self-destructive, that is what my psychiatrist told me over and over again but how to overcome something that was in my blood, in the air I breathe. This was difficult to explain to a mere psychologist who judged me because of my unusual and strange habits. She couldn’t understand the way I felt, she couldn’t judge me like her other patients because I was different. I was successful, happy but not quite so. I looked for something else in my life, something that would give me the peace and tranquility that I yearned for. Ten years away from my home, away from those streets where as a child I made mud castles, played cricket with the street children and shared my secrets with my best friend and neighbor, Sarah. I had no idea I would leave that all behind and relocated because of him.

For me, life was studying, liveliness, social circle and my friends before I met him. The object of my mental imbalance, the cause of my insecurity and the sole reason of my running away was the son of a very high profile Politician, Kashan Ali Khan. I still remember the first day I saw him at school with his friends, looking gorgeous and sexy as ever. My heart skipped a beat when he ignored his friends and looked at me straight across the room, his piercing gaze looking directly at me. I still remember the thousands of butterflies flying in my stomach and the memory was as clear as it was yesterday. Ten years did not change anything between us, I knew now.

Published by XunairaJ

Born on October 17, 1990 in Islamabad, Pakistan, to a government officer and a homemaker, Xunaira J, as a child dreamed of being a writer.She always loved writing short stories and has been active on Helium ( as a creative writer. She has been a blogger and been writing articles on relationship and family for a long time.When she was young, she used to write for US Magazine. Currently, Xunaira is doing her Bachelors in Mobile and Ubiquitous Computing and writing at the same time. The name of her first book on Amazon Kindle is "The Cursed City" while her second book is a book of collective short stories which will be published in October, 2013. Meanwhile, She is working on another Mystery/Romance novel which is almost reaching completion. She is anticipating to publish it sometime next year.

2 thoughts on “Musings

    1. Hi Erin!
      Thanks for appreciating my post. Indeed, it is the beginning of a book, I just wanted to get an opinion about this.

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