Twenty minutes of letting go. Twenty minutes of writing to my heart’s content. But how should I write? I’m in a writer’s block. *sighs*
Impressive how writers and authors write pages and pages of stories, of scenes and descriptions and poor me, who is unable to write a single word these days. Pathetic, isn’t it? But I should not pity myself, I should try to get out of this writer’s block, I guess. Well, let’s me just try to create a vision, my favorite place where I would visit in my dreams and where I would find everything perfect, actually flawless. A place full of water, maybe waterfalls or perhaps ponds where the bird chirp overhead and I can see little children playing around me, their chubby faces exuberant and their eyes shining with mischief. I can only stand on the sidelines and watch their happiness, unaware of what their future would behold.
I turn around from my vantage point, looking over at the adults sitting on picnic blankets, happily chatting with their friends and family, munching of fruits and nuts and what I can only think is how relaxed they look but I also know one thing, we have no idea of the internal turmoil going through these people. They could see me as a happy human being but they have no knowledge of the inner turmoil that is going through me. Despite the fact, that I was at a place which was like a dream to me, my sanctuary when the pressures of the world become too much to bear and where I come rejuvenate but it makes me wonder about all these people, who are imaginary to me but their inner turmoil can be felt by me. Like Edward could read minds, like Jasper could feel emotions, I could do both. I could read their minds, I could feel their emotions and in all that, I was just helpless over the fact that I could do nothing. If we offer a helping hand to someone, we can only help them through a specific channel, until a specific time and thus, I felt helpless.
Sometimes, my mind makes me wonder about life, about the society that man has created and about how many people are going towards a decline but then, not one person can do anything because for a voice that needs to be heard, you’ve got to be loud enough for the people to hear. And me, I’m just an emotionally broken person who can’t even patch up her life let alone help somebody else.