Dear Diary…


Dear Diary…

It’s been a long time since we last talked. My life has been one roller coaster ride since we parted ways.

I left you, this world and everything here to find myself and to learn the meaning of true happiness.

I left to learn what it meant to be selfless and be at peace.

I left to find the real meaning of life.

And I did.

This time, I am not going to cry my heart out that life has been unfair to me. Instead, I am going to tell you how sated and peaceful I feel because I have succeeded in healing the gaping abyss buried deep inside me. I know it for sure that it has healed. This is no false alarm and I can feel you rolling your eyes and groaning “Not again” but this is the truth.

I am happy.

The overwhelming floods of emotions that ran deep inside that abyss have disappeared for good. And I’m thankful about that. I feel that genuine happiness that bubbles from insight and spreads through your veins like wildfire. I know this is it. I know I belong here.

The lingering pain and foreboding I had gone through the last time we talked has gone. I’m sated. My emotions had ruled a great part of my life but now I’m in control. IN CONTROL. Did you ever imagine hearing those words from me?

I know, right?.

I know you suggested the same to me back then but I didn’t know how I could do that? How I would heal myself from the ghosts of the past. Fourteen years I have been suffering and now it seems like I have been reincarnated. I cannot explain the feelings in my heart to anyone but you, because you would understand.

You’ve always been the one to understand me. You have always been there to listen me vent out when there have been no one but I do know that the way I fixed myself, I needed it. I needed to break free from the box in which I was bring suffocated.

I have missed my late night conversations with you. I hope you will forgive me for being away from you for so long. I wanted to get better. I might have been selfish but that was exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?

With Love,

Onaiza

Published by XunairaJ

Born on October 17, 1990 in Islamabad, Pakistan, to a government officer and a homemaker, Xunaira J, as a child dreamed of being a writer.She always loved writing short stories and has been active on Helium (www.helium.com) as a creative writer. She has been a blogger and been writing articles on relationship and family for a long time.When she was young, she used to write for US Magazine. Currently, Xunaira is doing her Bachelors in Mobile and Ubiquitous Computing and writing at the same time. The name of her first book on Amazon Kindle is "The Cursed City" while her second book is a book of collective short stories which will be published in October, 2013. Meanwhile, She is working on another Mystery/Romance novel which is almost reaching completion. She is anticipating to publish it sometime next year.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: